Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Happy New Year

Just don't mess it up for everyone.

You know who you are. You know exactly what you are doing too. Ask yourself though. Is it really neccessary? What makes you so right? Is tolerance an impossible concept for you to grasp? Are you just an ignorant moralistic fucker? Yes. Well stop it. Now.

2003 Is The Year...

Now Eminem has made a film, he can safely disappear into the realm of forgotten, talentless and meaningless white rappers, a la Vanilla Ice. You know your time is up - Let's have some tidy Hip Hop this year please...

A strain of fast and fatal AIDS like virus is invented and unleashed on the world. It only affects inconsiderate and downright idiotic people. This means 98% of the world population is wiped out by the end of the year and the remainder create a utopia.

I win the lottery, twice in one week.

The young Dio Bach Jnr enters the world, takes one good look and demands to be sent back.

Music historians finally confirm what some of us (not blinded by a suicidal demi-mumbler) already knew - Nirvana were second-rate grunge copyists.

Tony Blair comes clean and develops a conscience.

George W. Bush accidently slashes his own throat and bleeds to death whilst shaving with a Wilkinson Protector razor.

New Age hippies spontaneously combust in a flaming cloud of their own Anal gasses. This is then bottled and used to power a large glowing ship that transports those who survived off into space where they accidently crash with a UFO on its way to Earth to spread a message of Love and Peace in Cornfields in Wiltshire.

People lose interest in sport and see it for the meaningless waste of time and energy that it is. Consequently people like David Beckham are forced to turn their ill gotten gains over to people who provide better roll models and something other of worth other than a daft hair cut.

I stop thinking so wishfully.

Posted by Dio Bach at 22:16

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